Dec. 24, 2024
Imposter Syndrome Exposed: Why You’re Not a Fraud (and How to Keep Growing)
Hey everyone, Dan here! In this episode, I’m diving into the idea of ‘imposter syndrome’—and why it may not be what you think it is. We’ll look at how the term got started, why it’s so widespread, and what’s really going on when you feel that knot in your stomach telling you you’re not good enough. I’ll share why actual ‘imposters’ are out to deceive people (which probably isn’t you!) and how simple steps like practicing your coaching skills, investing in your own growth, and consistently filling your calendar can help you kick self-doubt to the curb. If you’re ready to gain confidence, get real experience, and build your coaching or consulting business without feeling like a fraud, you won’t want to miss this one!
Links and Resources
Krytal Proffitt - https://krystalproffitt.com/
Podcast coach, content strategist, best-selling author, lifelong cheerleader, and content marketer obsessed with boosting your confidence.
Thank you for listening!
I'd love to invite you to share any feedback or insights with me dan@danw.us
To your success!
Dan
Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:00.440 --> 00:00:03.241
Hey, welcome back to Deep Dive Dialogues.
00:00:03.241 --> 00:00:34.131
I'm your host, or even a lack of confidence, but I want to challenge this in a way that asks the question does it really mean what we think it means?
00:00:34.131 --> 00:00:36.823
And I'm going to venture to say probably not.
00:00:36.823 --> 00:00:41.311
So I hope that with you today, we can redefine this.
00:00:41.311 --> 00:00:53.680
And then I want to jump into why your calendar might be the single most important tool in your online business, whether you're a coach, consultant or a creator of other sorts.
00:00:53.680 --> 00:01:02.526
And before we do any of that, one of my coaches in the world of podcasting it happens to be is Crystal Prophet.
00:01:02.526 --> 00:01:07.581
I'll link to her work in the show notes, but she has challenged me.
00:01:07.581 --> 00:01:17.108
She did a podcast review for me recently and she challenged me in that review to be more intentional about asking for reviews.
00:01:17.108 --> 00:01:31.573
So if you listen to my show and you've not yet taken the time to leave a review or a rating, depending on the app that you're using to listen I'd be grateful if you would take two minutes to leave me a review today.
00:01:33.021 --> 00:01:39.394
All right, let's dive in, shall we Rethinking imposter syndrome?
00:01:39.394 --> 00:01:44.206
The term comes, the phrase rather.
00:01:44.206 --> 00:01:52.719
Maybe it's a term, maybe it's a phrase it comes from, and the phrase I'm speaking about specifically, of course, is imposter syndrome.
00:01:52.719 --> 00:01:58.694
It comes from psychologists who labeled it back in 1978.
00:01:58.694 --> 00:02:15.274
I think it's important to note that if you do any research on this, you'll find that it's also referred to as imposter phenomenon, fraud syndrome, imposterism or perceived fraudulence.
00:02:15.274 --> 00:02:31.709
And I went and pulled the definition of imposter, the word imposter itself, and it is a person who pretends to be someone else in order to deceive others, especially for fraudulent gain.
00:02:31.709 --> 00:02:35.715
So what does that actually mean?
00:02:35.715 --> 00:02:44.412
Well, I think, simply put, feeling like a fraud implies intentional deception for personal gain, implies intentional deception for personal gain.
00:02:44.412 --> 00:03:07.554
That doesn't quite fit the bill for me, because, as a coach, as a consultant or as an entrepreneur, if you're being ethical in your work and what you're doing, even in your approach, you're not out to trick anyone, then I'm going to say it's likely you're not truly experiencing imposter syndrome.
00:03:09.260 --> 00:03:18.691
What is really going on here is that you're probably having some increased anxiety, maybe some fear or that self-doubt that I just mentioned.
00:03:18.691 --> 00:03:36.100
It often comes down to a simple, maybe complex, but lack of mastery in what it is that you're doing, or a lack of significant experience, or even just a lack of experience in general in what it is that you've set out to do.
00:03:36.100 --> 00:03:42.449
You simply haven't put the reps in to feel that next level of confidence.
00:03:42.449 --> 00:03:54.290
Yet Maybe you're feeling a bit intimidated, but that's just part of the normal stages of growth in business, especially in the online world.
00:03:54.290 --> 00:04:10.918
So if you I'll just say it this way, my two cents here if you haven't committed fraud, you're not intentionally trying to mislead anyone, there's probably no impostering going on and again.
00:04:10.918 --> 00:04:22.696
Instead, I think we need to recognize that what you're facing is normal anxiety of stepping into something that is new or relatively new to you.
00:04:22.696 --> 00:04:28.812
So then we might ask well, what's the fear to this experience?
00:04:28.812 --> 00:04:34.173
And it is practice, experience and consistency.
00:04:34.860 --> 00:04:38.531
As a coach, you've got to put your reps in, you got to coach your butt off.
00:04:38.531 --> 00:04:45.985
The quickest way to shake off that doubt, that self-doubt, that fear that you're feeling, is to coach more.
00:04:45.985 --> 00:04:52.584
You fill your calendar with free sessions, paid sessions, peer-to-peer practice sessions, whatever it is.
00:04:52.584 --> 00:04:53.466
Coach more.
00:04:53.466 --> 00:05:00.848
This is how you're going to gain valuable experience, build your confidence in your own abilities.
00:05:00.848 --> 00:05:07.245
The more you do it, the better you're going to feel about the results that you're creating for your clients.
00:05:08.740 --> 00:05:14.908
I'd say also that you might consider investing in your growth We've talked about this but get a coach.
00:05:14.908 --> 00:05:22.112
If you're not willing to invest in your own coaching, how can you expect your potential clients to invest in your coaching?
00:05:22.112 --> 00:05:30.244
Let yourself be challenged, the same that you plan to challenge your clients, or the same way you would challenge your clients.
00:05:30.244 --> 00:05:31.767
Stretch yourself.
00:05:31.767 --> 00:05:37.899
If you say something like, well, I'd love to hire a coach right now, but I can't afford it.
00:05:37.899 --> 00:05:39.964
Well, what would you tell your client?
00:05:39.964 --> 00:05:42.329
What are you challenging them to do?
00:05:42.329 --> 00:05:44.742
That's just out of reach for them.
00:05:44.742 --> 00:05:48.471
If you're not willing to do it, how do you expect them to be willing to do it?
00:05:48.471 --> 00:05:53.966
And then also always be learning right.
00:05:53.966 --> 00:05:59.995
Continue to educate yourself about coaching techniques or your industry specifically.
00:05:59.995 --> 00:06:04.130
Maybe you're into online funnel building, and that's great.
00:06:04.130 --> 00:06:05.485
Nothing wrong with that.
00:06:05.485 --> 00:06:39.341
But spend time learning more about that particular thing that you're into, that thing in your industry no-transcript and then, when you show up to a conversation with that knowledge about the person in front of you, you're able to instantly build trust with them.
00:06:39.341 --> 00:06:43.269
They're able to feel that you're invested in them.
00:06:43.269 --> 00:06:45.454
It's game changing.
00:06:45.454 --> 00:06:56.293
So I hope you know we've maybe had you start thinking about imposter syndrome in a slightly different light.
00:06:56.293 --> 00:07:00.360
Ideally, we've redefined that in terms that are relatable.
00:07:00.360 --> 00:07:19.903
You know, if you're not being unethical or you're not trying to intentionally commit fraud or, you know, convince somebody of something that's untrue, a lie, unethical, illegal then imposter syndrome may be the wrong phraseology.
00:07:21.588 --> 00:07:38.675
The other thing I wanted to talk about today and I realize this is a holiday week for most of us listening or participating, and I wanted to keep this episode fairly short because it will come out on in the US Christmas Eve.
00:07:38.675 --> 00:07:45.432
So the other thing I wanted to talk about is funny enough what's on your calendar?
00:07:45.432 --> 00:07:49.971
Are you scheduling conversations like it's your job?
00:07:49.971 --> 00:07:59.341
If you want to grow your online business, if you want to grow as a coach or consultant, then you have to talk to people.
00:07:59.341 --> 00:08:01.286
You have to talk to clients.
00:08:01.286 --> 00:08:03.511
You have to talk to potential clients.
00:08:03.511 --> 00:08:05.661
You have to talk to potential partners.
00:08:06.524 --> 00:08:08.928
If it's not on your calendar, is it even real?
00:08:08.928 --> 00:08:11.613
You have to make it intentional.
00:08:11.613 --> 00:08:18.333
You need to block off specific times, to connect specific times, to be in connection.
00:08:18.333 --> 00:08:20.505
That's the actual calls, right?
00:08:20.505 --> 00:08:21.247
You want to take off.
00:08:21.247 --> 00:08:25.511
If you don't have calls scheduled, then when are you working to schedule them?
00:08:25.511 --> 00:08:38.416
You want to make sure that you're doing everything you can in your business to get these things onto your calendar so that it is real for you, it is real for your business and it's real for the people that you're talking to.
00:08:40.081 --> 00:08:46.714
And when you do hop on a call, I want to challenge you to simply focus on the person in front of you.
00:08:46.714 --> 00:08:50.971
I don't want you to worry about your entire day or week of calls.
00:08:50.971 --> 00:09:13.890
I just want you to focus on being present with the person in front of you, taking the time before that call to learn everything you can about that person or at least learn as much as you can in the time you have about that person and then show up, be present, be genuinely curious about and interested in the person that you're on that call with.
00:09:13.890 --> 00:09:20.113
That one conversation could open doors for partnership opportunities.
00:09:20.113 --> 00:09:24.192
It could open doors for referrals or for future clients.
00:09:24.192 --> 00:09:29.830
Maybe that person, three years from now, has a challenge that they want to work with you on.
00:09:29.830 --> 00:09:39.392
Or maybe that person will never work with you but send you other people who are your absolute favorite clients.
00:09:39.392 --> 00:09:42.864
You never know where that one conversation could lead to.
00:09:42.864 --> 00:10:11.028
So being intentional with them, being focused on them and deeply curious about that person is going to be a tremendous factor in what you're doing with this time, in these conversations and then keep inviting people, offer sample sessions, offer workshops, make bold proposals Every opportunity you have, invite people consistently to experience your coaching.
00:10:11.710 --> 00:10:20.802
The more conversations that you schedule, the more your impact, your confidence, all the things are going to grow, especially your income.
00:10:20.802 --> 00:10:25.529
If you want to increase your income, the number one way to do it is to do the work in your business.
00:10:25.529 --> 00:10:33.686
And if it's not on your calendar, the question is are you really doing the work Right?
00:10:33.686 --> 00:10:45.852
If, if I think Dave Ramsey said it best I heard him say it sometime years ago and I don't remember if it was a podcast or maybe I read it or it was one of the live events that I attended with their crew.
00:10:45.852 --> 00:10:59.211
But Dave Ramsey said you know, if you were paying you to do the work that you're doing right now, would you fire you?
00:10:59.211 --> 00:11:10.371
Simply means is are you treating your business like it's your job or are you treating it like it's something that you spend time in when you want to?
00:11:10.371 --> 00:11:17.668
And hey, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with creating a life of freedom as you build your business.
00:11:17.668 --> 00:11:37.375
But if you're putting in a month worth of hours billable hours let's talk about this in billable hours If you're putting in a month's worth of billable hours over a year and expecting year results and not one month results, then you're probably looking at this from the wrong perspective.
00:11:37.897 --> 00:11:45.013
If you're expecting year growth, year results, year income, then you have to put in a year's worth of work.
00:11:45.013 --> 00:11:47.605
What does that look like for you?
00:11:47.605 --> 00:11:49.250
What does that look like for your business?
00:11:49.250 --> 00:11:55.251
All right, I told you I wanted to keep this episode short, so it's going to be super short.
00:11:55.251 --> 00:11:58.764
Here's your homework Open your calendar right now.
00:11:58.764 --> 00:11:59.666
I'll wait.
00:11:59.666 --> 00:12:06.413
Now take time to schedule your next conversation and then schedule the next one.
00:12:06.413 --> 00:12:09.884
Keep going With every conversation.
00:12:09.884 --> 00:12:17.432
Your confidence is going to grow Soon enough you're going to realize that there's nothing impostery about you or what you're doing.
00:12:17.432 --> 00:12:22.525
In the first place, you were just building your skills, getting your reps in.
00:12:22.525 --> 00:12:35.288
I want to thank you so much for listening to Deep Dive Dialogues with me, dan Warheide, and I want to remind you that if you're not intentionally deceiving anyone, you're not an imposter.
00:12:35.288 --> 00:12:36.851
You're simply learning.
00:12:36.851 --> 00:12:42.653
Schedule those calls and I hope that I'll see you in the next episode.
00:00:00.440 --> 00:00:03.241
00:00:03.241 --> 00:00:34.131
00:00:34.131 --> 00:00:36.823
00:00:36.823 --> 00:00:41.311
00:00:41.311 --> 00:00:53.680
00:00:53.680 --> 00:01:02.526
00:01:02.526 --> 00:01:07.581
00:01:07.581 --> 00:01:17.108
00:01:17.108 --> 00:01:31.573
00:01:33.021 --> 00:01:39.394
00:01:39.394 --> 00:01:44.206
00:01:44.206 --> 00:01:52.719
00:01:52.719 --> 00:01:58.694
00:01:58.694 --> 00:02:15.274
00:02:15.274 --> 00:02:31.709
00:02:31.709 --> 00:02:35.715
00:02:35.715 --> 00:02:44.412
00:02:44.412 --> 00:03:07.554
00:03:09.260 --> 00:03:18.691
00:03:18.691 --> 00:03:36.100
00:03:36.100 --> 00:03:42.449
00:03:42.449 --> 00:03:54.290
00:03:54.290 --> 00:04:10.918
00:04:10.918 --> 00:04:22.696
00:04:22.696 --> 00:04:28.812
00:04:28.812 --> 00:04:34.173
00:04:34.860 --> 00:04:38.531
00:04:38.531 --> 00:04:45.985
00:04:45.985 --> 00:04:52.584
00:04:52.584 --> 00:04:53.466
00:04:53.466 --> 00:05:00.848
00:05:00.848 --> 00:05:07.245
00:05:08.740 --> 00:05:14.908
00:05:14.908 --> 00:05:22.112
00:05:22.112 --> 00:05:30.244
00:05:30.244 --> 00:05:31.767
00:05:31.767 --> 00:05:37.899
00:05:37.899 --> 00:05:39.964
00:05:39.964 --> 00:05:42.329
00:05:42.329 --> 00:05:44.742
00:05:44.742 --> 00:05:48.471
00:05:48.471 --> 00:05:53.966
00:05:53.966 --> 00:05:59.995
00:05:59.995 --> 00:06:04.130
00:06:04.130 --> 00:06:05.485
00:06:05.485 --> 00:06:39.341
00:06:39.341 --> 00:06:43.269
00:06:43.269 --> 00:06:45.454
00:06:45.454 --> 00:06:56.293
00:06:56.293 --> 00:07:00.360
00:07:00.360 --> 00:07:19.903
00:07:21.588 --> 00:07:38.675
00:07:38.675 --> 00:07:45.432
00:07:45.432 --> 00:07:49.971
00:07:49.971 --> 00:07:59.341
00:07:59.341 --> 00:08:01.286
00:08:01.286 --> 00:08:03.511
00:08:03.511 --> 00:08:05.661
00:08:06.524 --> 00:08:08.928
00:08:08.928 --> 00:08:11.613
00:08:11.613 --> 00:08:18.333
00:08:18.333 --> 00:08:20.505
00:08:20.505 --> 00:08:21.247
00:08:21.247 --> 00:08:25.511
00:08:25.511 --> 00:08:38.416
00:08:40.081 --> 00:08:46.714
00:08:46.714 --> 00:08:50.971
00:08:50.971 --> 00:09:13.890
00:09:13.890 --> 00:09:20.113
00:09:20.113 --> 00:09:24.192
00:09:24.192 --> 00:09:29.830
00:09:29.830 --> 00:09:39.392
00:09:39.392 --> 00:09:42.864
00:09:42.864 --> 00:10:11.028
00:10:11.710 --> 00:10:20.802
00:10:20.802 --> 00:10:25.529
00:10:25.529 --> 00:10:33.686
00:10:33.686 --> 00:10:45.852
00:10:45.852 --> 00:10:59.211
00:10:59.211 --> 00:11:10.371
00:11:10.371 --> 00:11:17.668
00:11:17.668 --> 00:11:37.375
00:11:37.897 --> 00:11:45.013
00:11:45.013 --> 00:11:47.605
00:11:47.605 --> 00:11:49.250
00:11:49.250 --> 00:11:55.251
00:11:55.251 --> 00:11:58.764
00:11:58.764 --> 00:11:59.666
00:11:59.666 --> 00:12:06.413
00:12:06.413 --> 00:12:09.884
00:12:09.884 --> 00:12:17.432
00:12:17.432 --> 00:12:22.525
00:12:22.525 --> 00:12:35.288
00:12:35.288 --> 00:12:36.851
00:12:36.851 --> 00:12:42.653
Listen On
